i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
