This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
