Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sext me about skeletons
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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