are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
