They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
