the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
