So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
