i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
