i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
