The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
