sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
