I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
