She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My vagina just clenched in fear
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
