and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
