Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
