I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
