i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
