My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
