ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
