there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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