girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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