Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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