The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
