There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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