That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
