Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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