I wanna bring you to show and tell
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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