She said her name was "party"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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