Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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