how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My dick has a subreddit
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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