Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
