guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
