dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
