I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
