There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
