was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
