Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
