why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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