The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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