i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
