Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
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