I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
