singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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