Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
