I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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