Whod you bang
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
