i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
