Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
