Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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