Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
