Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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